Saturday, January 17, 2009

Watch the Birdies!

Merry Morning Family, Friends and Lurkers!

I hope this writing finds you all safe and toasty! If you've been listening to the News, you have undoubtedly heard about the plane that plunged into the Hudson River. Is this not a truly amazing story? Not one fatality. I mean, how many times have you heard of that happening? Can you even remotely imagine what it must feel like to hear the pilot say, "brace for impact". All I know is that if I ever fly again, I want Captain Sullenberger flying the friggin' plane.

I hate to fly and those of you who actually know me will attest to this. Oh, I'll do it if I absolutely have to get somewhere, but if I had a choice, I'd rather walk to where ever that might happen to be. I know. I know. Air flight is the safest form of travel. In the grand scheme of things you do hear of other types of accidents far more often than you do of plane crashes.

That said, planes are being flown by PEOPLE. That fact alone is more than enough for me! One always has to take into account the possibility of human error and we're talking about human error at 35,000 feet. Call me crazy, but I have a thing about being in control of my environment and I really don't give a rat's ass where that environment happens to be. I have been known to torture Ray unmercifully if I even perceive that he's driving faster than I'm comfortable with. Can't really do that on a plane, now can I? Still, I have been known to approach the pilot and co-pilot when I'm boarding and without hesitation, interrogate them as to whether or not they slept well or if they're having a bad day. Now I know that there's nothing I can do once I've boarded, but at least if we crash I'll know who to blame! And what about all those pre-flight instructions? Pffft! Think about how much time is wasted on every flight while the attendants go over all the things you need to do aside from screaming, crying and peeing yourself in the event of a plane crash. We would all get to our destinations a lot faster if they simply said, "in the event of engine failure, place your head firmly between your knees and kiss your ass good-bye".

So now I'm listening to the initial reports coming in about the crash and how the experts are trying to determine what would cause this plane, this huge ass Airbus 360, to come down 3 minutes into take off. I hear the words, "double bird strike". Ok, so now I'm thinking that this must be some type of industry term that the lay person is not supposed to understand. Not so much. The fact of the matter is, in all likelihood, it was birdies, allegedly Canadian Geese, that took down this big ass Airbus 360!

My mind suddenly flashes back to the movie, "Jaws". (Why? Your guess is as good as mine!) "Quint" (Robert Shaw) is amused by the fact that Matt Brody (Richard Dreyfuss) thinks he can survive an attack by a Great White Shark after being lowered into the water in an "anti-shark" cage.

"Quint": "You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, shark is in the water?"

And I'm supposed to get on a friggin' plane and find comfort in the knowledge that air flight is the safest form of travel?

Tracy goes in the plane, planes go in the air, birdies are in the air...

"Farewell and adieu you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain"

In Darkness, Light!



Carol said...

that is how I feel too! I have no choice but to fly twice a year to see my son. I am really not comfortable between flying and what you have to go through to get on the plane- shoes off, jewelry off, nasty fucking people checking you out and then you always wonder if everything will be all right. I know that flying is the safest way instead of cars but with cars it seems like you have your own control (at least you think so) but with a plane you just sit and try to relax but you never really relax until you have landed. It is a little scary!
so, I am not walking to San Diego especially with these lungs!!LOL so plane here I come. Just hoping I don't meet any birdies a long the way!!

Tracy said...

I never relax when I fly. I am too hypervigilant. I listen to every sound that friggin' plane makes and try to decide if it's a "normal" plane sound or if something is amiss! No pun intended!