Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Did Anyone Else Get The Memo?

Merry Meet Again, Family, Friends and Lurkers!

Yesterday, I awoke with every intention of going to work and I would have gone too, if it wasn't for the damn meterologist on 1010 WINS!

From the moment I opened my eyes, he repeatedly taunted me with predictions of a glorious day filled with sunshine and warm temperatures. As hard as I tried to prepare myself for a day at the office, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Sometime around 9 a.m., I heard the doorbell ring. "Strange", I thought. I wasn't expecting anyone and no one knew that I'd be home today..not even me. I looked out the window and there were no familar cars in the driveway. I decided to err on the side of caution and not answer the door.

Later, when I went out to retrieve the mail, I found a flyer stuck in the door. On the front, in big, bold letters it said, "How Can You Survive The End Of the World? And then, "You are warmly invited to come and listen to the answer".

The World is ending??? Holy Crap!! Why didn't I get the memo!

I realized that this cheerful message had been brought to me courtesy of the local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. I wondered why they got the news that the World was ending before anyone else did. I was certain that the Buddhists would have gotten it first. And, didn't they realize that "warmly invited" and "End of The World" doesn't belong in the same context?

I also wondered, what makes them so sure that I want to survive the end of the World? Who else was going to be there? Did they have a list? Were the Pagans invited, or did we need to convert first? These things are definitely going to effect my decision. More importantly, if the World ends....where are they going to put all the survivors?

The flyer was actually an invitation to a program on "mindful watchfulness" or "Keeping On The Watch" for signs that the end was near.

The program included:

*Staying Awake as Christian Families (I knew there had to be a catch! I'd have to convert first)

* Know That the End Is Near

* Imitate Jesus' Example of Watchfulness

* Keep in Expectation, Watching for Jehovah's Day.

Well, needless to say, as much as I hate to miss it, I think I will respectfully decline their invitation. I do however, think that a lecture in "watchfulness" might seriously benefit the congregants who distributed the flyers.

Because unless they just happened to miss the huge pentacle on the front door and the plaque that reads, "Best Witches", chances are they won't be amongst the survivors.

In Darkness, Light!



SeeThroughGreen said...

THE SKY IS FALLING! OMGoddessess haha...I made a funny! :D
in all seriousness though, missing the pentacle was just a bit unwatchfull of them so I wouldnt talk to them...they dont seem to be living the life of their own lessons of watchfullness well.

Thank you for the comment you made on my blog btw!

Carol said...

You defintely missed your calling you still can be a writer. I love your blogs.


Tracy said...

I don't know about that Carol, but...don't you love the song };)

Carol said...

I really love that song it brings back memories! The Glory Days!!!

greekwitch said...

Are n't they sunshines?Anywaaay, Is n't spring great? Did you enjoy the rest of the day, or where you trying to see the signs of the Apocalypse?

Tracy said...

You know, I really have no problem with the Jehovah's. Well, with the exception of ringing the doorbell at 9 a.m. If I hadn't just stepped out of the shower, I would have enjoyed sharing my beliefs with them }:)

I'm sure it would have confirmed their suspicions that the end is near!

spottedwolf said...

Oh hell....oops..I mean Oh dear...there that's better.

"Did they have a list? Were the Pagans invited, or did we need to convert first? These things are definitely going to effect my decision."


As Father Guido Sarducci once put it, " then they pay you say...a dollar for every day you lived...but masterbation costs you 3 dollars for every time you did"

ARIE said...

Hi Tracy,

I love your sense of Humour.
I'm reading your posts backwards, one at a time.
There is a danger in going backwards though. I may fall into a trance state. :-)

You have really a great blog.

I just hope that these nuts near your home are not connected to Sarah Pailin's group.

You may put a Glamour spell on your home. But well, then Donald Trump may think there's an empty lot and try to build an building there. Not a good idea is it. :-)