Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Not To Be...Forgotten

Merry Meet Once Again, Family and Friends!

So, I must admit, that I've been laying back quite a bit lately.  What I mean is, I've been more focused on those things that are most important and enjoyable.  Spending time with my family and friends, reading, practicing, dancing, catching up on Facebook.  I have found myself taking time just being thankful for my blessings and to take life a little less seriously.  This is not necessarily a bad thing at all, as it has given me the opportunity to reconnect with the those people and parts of myself that are really important.

I was walking by my altar before work yesterday morning and realized that there was one thing I had forgotten to do.  It had been quite a while since I'd honored my patroness, Hecate.  I usually make it a point of leaving fresh flowers, wine or mead and candles as a sign of my devotion to her.  The last wine I'd left had almost run dry and I made a mental note to remedy this as soon as possible.

I have personally found that Hecate is not the type of Deity that one works with casually.  She doesn't seem to appreciate an "as needed" relationship.  I don't merely work with Hecate, I am oathbound by blood to her.  My own. 

Last night after dinner, as I sat by the fireplace reading, I remembered my promise to her from that morning.  I stopped what I was doing and headed upstairs to retrieve my altar chalice.  On the way however, I was distracted by a conversation with my son and afterward couldn't remember, for the life of me, what it was that I had gotten up to do!  Don't ya just hate that!!!  "What was it I was doing?", I asked myself.  I knew it was something important, but I couldn't remember what.  Then it hit me!  "Holy crap!", feeling guilty that I'd forgotten.  "She is not going to be happy!"

I rushed upstairs to get the chalice and then went out onto our deck to spill what remained of the wine back to the Earth.  "A Gift for a Gift".  Just as I leaned over the deck, I caught the leg of my pants on the branch of a climbing wild rose bush.  The sharp thorn pierced the fabric, tearing my flesh!  My first words (no they didn't begin with "Mother") were, "Yeah, I get it!", acknowledging that there is and always will be, a price to pay for her Wisdom, and that she generously shares her blessings with those who honor her.

I went back into the house and looked down to see a rich crimson stain was now seeping through my pant leg. I lifted the fabric to survey the damage and found that blood was now trickling down my leg and onto my freshly scrubbed kitchen floor!!! I guessed I'd probably survive and rather than let this distract me from the task at hand, I began filling the chalice with red wine.  I whispered my words of heartfelt gratitude, held the cup against my bare skin, then watched as my own life's blood mixed with my offering to the Dark Mother.  "A Gift for a Gift".

In Darkness, Light!



ARIE said...

Hi Tracy,

From my own personal experience, I view such an event in a different way.
I see and feel the Goddess as part of me and myself as part of Her.
So if I feel myself guilty, then such a situation would happen to me.
My mind would be somewhere else and anything can happen to a certain degree.

I love this prayer from Thorn's book, Kissing the Limitless:

"Star Goddess, Limitless fabric of All, flow into my life, let me be open to that flow. May I step wisely and well, love with joy and passion; may I recognize you in everything I encounter. May each breath bring me back into myself, into you."

We are all Divine.


Tracy said...

Hi Arie,

"Bloodying" the wine is something I have always included in my devotions to Hecate. It's not something I was taught, but more something I felt. This, for me, is a true expression of my being one with her.

The Following is a poem written by one of my first teachers. I think it captures the essences of my relationship with the Dark Mother:

My Dark Mother

By Judith Nerbetski (MayaKalia)

My life, my soul, my breath, my blood~
Blood that I would gladly spill for You…
Pulsing dark through my veins…
I call Your name at the crossroads of life…
And always
You answer~
Even when I don't want to know…
You push me to explore realms I'd rather not enter~
But always
You journey with me…
And in them, I rejoice…
I cry out to You in pain. I cry out to You in fear. I cry out to You in anguish~
And always
You hear me…
When the world causes me to cower at Your feet,
You wrap me in Your midnight robes
And always
In ecstasy, I cling to You…
You disregard what I want
But in wisdom,
Offer what I need~
And always
I accept.

Rayden Darklighter said...

I was moved by this post, your devotion is inspiring.

I actually stopped by to see if you would come to my blog and take a Yule survey I tagged you in. I am genuinely curious as to the answers you would give.

Thank you for sharing, your posts are always awesome to read.

ARIE said...

Hi Tracy,

What a beautiful poem. I like it.

Sometimes I use my blood too. It is a very powerful offering. Also when staining sacred tools like my Runes.

I also work with Hecate sometimes and she appeared once in a dream protecting me from a dangerous situation.

I find it interesting to observe that over the years, I seem to be attracted or become to the attention of different Goddesses and Gods from various pantheons.
Some times I feel there is a relation to a past life and sometimes I cannot explain it.
Not to all Goddesses and Gods of a certain Pantheon but to specific ones. A very strong connection then builds up.

Then there is my Patron Goddess, the Star Goddess who touched me and opened my awareness to the Craft. I can feel she has always been with me since I was a child. Today I can explain certain things I could not explain then.

So I'm grateful for Her for showing me the way. For the beautiful pagan friends I have. For the ability to see the Divine in everything there is.

I'm grateful for the those of my tradition "Reclaiming" for sharing so much and being so inspiring.

I'm grateful to be called crazy by the "sane" establishment. :-)

Blessed Be.


Felicitas said...

Thank you for the reminder. This was an inspirational post. I need to be more diligent with my devotional work, as well.