Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Lashing Out!

Merry Meet Once Again, Family and Friends!

Ok, so I have a confession to make.


I'm imagining at least one of you breaking a sweat!'s not that kind of confession!

I am prone to bouts of...VANITY!!! There I've said it!!

Ahhh...I feel so much better. I bet you're wondering, "Tracy, what the hell are you talking about?" And I'm going to tell you!

Recently, I had a long overdue appointment with my eye doctor. I finally realized when I actually couldn't see, that it might be time to make an appointment.

At my recent visit with my opthamologist, she asked me if I was having any problems, to which I immediately responded, "other than the fact that I can't see?" Then I casually mentioned the maddening loss of eyelashes I'd been experiencing. Now, we're not talking one or two eyelashes. We're talking enough lashes to leave a quarter inch bald patch on my lash line. I know...I know! Who actually notices, right? Probably no one unless I specifically point it out, but I found it really annoying and especially so when I tried to put on mascara. The opthamologist asked if I had ever been diagnosed with an infection of my eyelids or if I suffered from allergies to make-up? I hadn't experienced either. Then she asked, "Have you considered Latisse?"

Latisse, as some of you may know, is a prescription medication that is specifically for people who have inadequate eyelash growth. The medication has been used for about the last 20 years for the treatment of glaucoma. One of the side effects of the drug however, has been that it causes eyelashes to remain in the growth phase, resulting in really, long friggin' lashes!

"Sure", I told her. I'd seen Brooke Shield's pimping the product on TV, but wasn't it rather expensive? My opthamologist said that the other patients loved it, that it had been marketed long enough so that it's safety was well documented and suggested I give it a try.

I could feel a bout of vanity coming on!

Ok, so I've been using the Latisse for a little over two months. They say that full results are seen after 16 weeks? 16 weeks? That may present a problem.

At this point my lashes, without mascara, are becoming unusually...dare I say, freakily long. With mascara, well...judge for yourselves!

My husband thinks I'm beginning to look like a Llama!

I Love Llamas!!!

Coming next.....Confessions of a Make-up Slut!

In Darkness, Light!


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sacred Union...

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

So, this weekend we attended one of my most favorite Sabbat celebrations! Beltane! Simply speaking, Beltane is the time when we celebrate the marriage of the Lord and Lady. Depending on one's geographic location or tradition, Beltane is often celebrated on either April 30th (my birthday, go figure!) or May 1st. I can assure you the earlier date did absolutely nothing to detract from the festivities!

I had picked up a little bug and was uncertain if I would be able to make this year's gathering. After agonizing for the better part of the of the day, I realized that I would have definitely felt a whole lot worse had I missed it!

The ritual was being held at the home of the High Priest and High Priestess who were officiating that evening. Their home is infused with so much loving energy, that one only needs to arrive at their doorstep to realize that they have indeed entered, "sacred space".

After several hours of merry-making which included the Maypole Dance, the sun went down, the Beltane fire was lit and we prepared for ritual. We lay our blankets side by side on the cool grass around the Circle, snuggling against the night's chill, as the flames illuminated the faces of the many friends who have become family. Our High Priest's words described it perfectly..."loving intimacy".

When it was time for the Elements to be summoned, the participants brought their own individuality to the rite. The East was summoned by several children dancing and carrying wands, whose brightly colored ribbons swirled in the breeze. The South, by a young woman who danced while twirling a hoop of flames around her waist, in the North, a sensual belly dance was performed.

It was a young, pregnant woman who summoned the Element of Water however, who's words I found most poignant. She approached each of the celebrants asking us to cleanse our hands by dipping them into a bowl of consecrated water. As she did so, she told a story of her grandfather, who had died only a few days before. She talked about his life, about how happy he had been that he was expecting his first grand-daughter. It's was difficult to listen without tears. She made it clear however, that while she grieved his loss, she wasn't sad. His life had been rich and full. He was 102 years old at the time of his passing.

As she spoke of her grandfather, the night air was suddenly filled with the sound of dogs howling. I remembered reading that dogs often howled to portend a death but also, were considered psychopomps (Spirit Guides) that not only ushered souls into the afterlife, but also the souls of newborns into the World. I felt that surely her grandfather was there with her as she honored him by sharing the story of his life. It was strangely comforting.

For our mother to be, Beltane is a time to look forward to the birth of her daughter. For the God and Goddess, a sacred union that would bestow blessings of abundant new life upon the Earth.

Not only does Beltane signify the date of my own birth, but a birth into a life that is much different than that to which I was born. It's signifies a birth into a family that while different as well, holds just as much love. And, into a Path that allows me to see the World with with the wisdom that comes with age, but with the eyes of a child, never ceasing to find it's beauty and magick.

It was indeed a splendid celebration of loving intimacy and of memories, without tears!

Blessed Beltane!


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Fishing for the Truth....

Merry Meet and Happy Weekend Family and Friends!

As the parent of two 13 year olds, I have discovered a phenomenon that I wanted to share. I believe it may very well be instrumental in establishing the lines of communication with your children. Now, I must confess, there is no scientific data on which to base this phenomenon, as it is purely experiential.

That being said, I would highly recommend taking your kids out for sushi! Why sushi? I know, not everyone is a fan of raw fish and rice, and there may very well be other foods that work just as well, but from my own experience, there is definitely a substance in sushi that acts as a truth serum for my 13 year olds!

Allow me to explain. As parents, Ray and I feel that it's important to have dinner together as a family every evening, if at all possible. Sadly for many, hectic schedules have made this a thing of the past. On the weekends however, when neither of us wants to cook, we'll often go out for sushi. It's probably one of the only things we will ever all agree on!

About the time the second sushi roll is served, the kids are well into describing events of their day. Kyla will often initiate this with some amusing anecdote involving her friends or something that happened in school. Justin usually sits quietly eating his sushi, testing the waters only after Kyla's revelations have sufficiently shocked us into submission.

We've heard their views on everything from teen pregnancy, bisexuality (apparently in vogue these days), homosexuality and drug use amongst their Middle School peers, to the more mundane topics such as TV, music artists and movies. Apparently, Megan Fox is considered "smokin' hot" amongst both sexes, while Justin Bieber's music causes bouts of nausea in the same. Thus far, I've discovered two very important things about my kids and myself. I actually agree with them about Megan and Justin, but more importantly, they are far more mature and know more stuff than I did at their age! I also know what's been keeping me up at night! That's one more thing than I ever wanted to know!!

Now, I am absolutely THRILLED that my kids have this level of respect and trust in us as parents to have allowed even a glimpse into their Worlds. Still, there was a time, long, long ago, that I actually considered myself...unshockable!

Oh, and might I suggest ordering a drink or two with dinner or perhaps bringing a bottle of your favorite Sake. Believe me, you will definitely be grateful for having taken the edge off by the time dessert has arrived and you might actually, ya know, sleep.

In Darkness, Light!


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Tales from the Cryptic...

Merry Meet Again Family and Friends and LURKERS:

I want to share something that should be nothing more than basic common sense. Apparently for some, however, common sense is much more elusive than for the general population.

This is a PUBLIC blog! Now, I know what some of you are thinking, "Yeah, Tracy, we know! Don't get your panties in a twist!" Of course you do! Blogs usually are, right? Not necessarily. Some blogs are open to only selected readers by the author's choice.

This Blog, however, is most definitely open for public reading and I prefer it that way. My life is a fairly open book and I enjoy sharing my experiences with those who are interested in reading.

For the more intellectually challenged lurker however, discovering that they are actually able to read my Blog, for them translates into discovering details about my personal life that I wouldn't want anyone else to know. Seriously! I shit you not! There are actually people this blatantly ignorant!

Now, I know this may all sound very cryptic, but let it suffice to say that, reading my Blog doesn't offer anyone secret insight into my personal life and if there was something I didn't want to share or felt was inappropriate, the last place you'd find it is a PUBLIC venue.

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

In Darkness, Light!


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Of Memories and Mirrors...

Merry Meet Family and Friends!!

Have you ever recognized yourself in something that has been written? A word, a phrase or perhaps a song? Of course! Haven't we all? Someone describes characteristics and often these will resonate with some aspect of our own personality. It's like a mirror we look into and for better or worse, we see ourselves looking back. It's the reflection of our inner voice...our conscience. The difficult part comes when that reflection is too clear or far too accurate and we are ashamed of, or unhappy with, the person we see.

Our memories are often that way as well. Our pleasant memories about ourselves or others are the easiest mirror to look into. It's those that aren't so pleasant or that are difficult to examine in the harsh light of day, that we tend to push into deepest recesses of our mind. We may reconstruct their accuracy until they bear little resemblance to factual events, but we are simply making them more tolerable for our psyches to deal with.

The other thing about our memories is that, most often, they are a shared experience. So even if we choose to alter the course of their reality, there's often someone that has shared them with us that would be more than happy to refresh our memories. Their escape is....fleeting. As much as we'd like to convince ourselves or others that history can be rewritten, this is nothing more than our own personal delusion. We can grow, learn and change from the mistakes or accomplishments of our past, but they are a part of our akashic record.

And while we may be capable, in our own minds, of redesigning the landscape of the "Memory Lane" of our past, it's merely a detour to avoid the Mirror.

In Darkness, Light,


Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the....Broom?

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

So, people have asked why my kids are not being raised Pagan. Believe me, it's not that I wouldn't love to raise them Pagan, but we've always felt that it should be their choice and one that they make after careful consideration. Anyone who walks this Path knows it's not for the faint of heart.

My son has always been an avid reader with a great passion for different cultures, customs and religious beliefs. I thought surely he would follow in my footsteps. I would sometimes refer to him as "my Pagan child", because for a while, he was really interested in learning about Paganism. My daughter Kyla, not so much.

Kyla wasn't exactly thrilled that Mom was a "Witch". She had the same media driven misconceptions that many people do. Despite my best efforts to explain that not all Witches were the same as those she'd read about in books or saw on TV, she was not easily convinced.

When she began spending more time with our Pagan friends, the term "Witch" took on an entirely new meaning. A Witch became someone who was an author or a nurse, someone that did animal rescue, or who was a musician, like her Dad. As she got older, she learned that a Witch could also be a physician, a neurobiologist or a physicist. She met a new group of friends whose parents were raising them Pagan. Still, she didn't participate in any Pagan celebrations and had no interest in practicing herself.

Recently, Kyla has been walking around and every now and then would casually say, "deja vu". Fearing that I would be perceived as the "uncool" parent, it was a while before I got up the nerve to ask what this meant. I assumed it was some new teenage phrase that meant something entirely different than what I thought or perhaps it was a song that I had yet to hear more times than I ever wanted to.

The other day, while she was scrounging for a snack, I heard her say, "deja vu". Finally, I asked, "Kyla, what does that mean, "deja vu?" She turned to me with the exasperated expression of a typical 13 year old, rolled her eyes and said, "Mom, you don't know what 'deja vu" means? Seriously?" To which I replied, "I know what I think it means, what do you think it means?" Again, with attitude, "You know, it's "deja vu" it's like, when you feel as if you did something before"., I was intrigued, especially given how often I'd heard her say it! "When does this happen to you?", I asked. She replied casually, "Oh, ya know, a few times....a day." A few times a day?!

It is common belief that psychic and paranormal phenomenon will begin to manifest around the time a child reaches puberty. I recalled having deja vu when I was a child. I know how strange a sensation it can be. Kyla seemed unfazed. I had done some reading on the subject years ago and there were some different theories on the deja vu experience.

It usually occurs between the ages of 15 - 25 years old, it's prevalent in people with epilepsy disorder (Kyla has never had an epileptic event). Many parapsychologists associate it with past life memories. I shared this with Kyla. She wasn't impressed. It was just, and I quote, "a weird thing that happens". Case closed.

Then....she began randomly predicting what songs were about to play on the radio. Ok...the first time, I thought, "Lucky guess!" It was Lady Gaga, you can't really listen to the radio without hearing at least one of her latest hits. But then, it began to happen with such uncanny accuracy and I finally had to admit she was actually doing this! My first reaction, "Holy Crap!!!!" We need to play the lottery!!!!

It's gotten even more interesting. I had been sitting at the computer reading Facebook one morning, when suddenly, something whizzed by me. My hands froze on the keyboard and I yelled to my husband, "Ray!!!! I think I just orb!" "What's a "norb?, he yelled back. Oh for the love of nerve! "Not a "norb!" An "orb!!!" An "orb!!!' He came into the living room, "An orb? Oh yeah, I saw one last night", he replied matter of factly. Information he didn't see any reason to share, I guess!

Kyla came downstairs upon hearing the conversation and asked, "what did you see?" "An orb", I replied, and went on to explain that an orb was considered to be a form of spirit energy. Then she said, "Ya know, I'm seeing these weird, "shadows" out of the corner of my eye" My initial reaction was one of alarm and I immediately thought I should take her in to see our opthamologist. Then she said, "I was a man. He was wearing a big hat". "You think "one" was a man?" The hair on the back of my neck stood on end!

Last night, I watched a show called, "Psychic Kids, Children of the Paranormal". It's actually a docu-series that deals with the difficulties that kids with paranormal abilities encounter. As I watched, I realized that MANY of the things that Kyla has been experiencing, not just recently, but for years, were unbelievably similar to what these kids were dealing with. I asked her to come and watch with me. She saw the similarities herself and was a little freaked out. "I don't like this", she whined!! I explained that it was a gift and one that she could cultivate and perfect.

"Great", she said. "What am I supposed to do with this gift?" To which I replied, "Be a more powerful Witch than I could ever hope to!"

She was quiet for a minute and then asked, "Does this mean I get to take the Wiccan holidays off from school now?"


In Darkness, Light!