Sunday, September 19, 2010

Only the Finest!

Merry Meet and Autumn Blessings Family and Friends!

This is the time of introspection. A time to venture inside ourselves to see where we've been, what we've done and where we are going. And so, I shall.

I find myself looking back over the past ten years and can't believe how much I, my life and relationships have changed. I'm not talking about the usual kind of changes that occur in all of our lives, but those, "nothing will ever be the same" kind of changes that have us completely rethinking what we had envisioned our future would be like.

Some of these changes have been so mind-numbingly painful that I wondered if I could ever adjust to this new way of "being". Nor did I want to. Ahhhh, but life doesn't oft give us that option, does it? We are offered little in the way of choices. We either rally in the face of adversity or crumble under the weight. For me, the latter was not an option. There were others depending upon my weaving a new life from the tattered strands that were left dangling. Not only for them however, but for myself as well. I found tremendous comfort in the love and support of those whose souls, near and far, that had become a part of my own living tapestry.

Fast forward....really, really fast. What have I done? Where have I been. How well have I adjusted? In some ways, better than I ever dreamed possible. In others...well, isn't there always a hand pulling on those loose strands, just to keep things....interesting?

Yet, I have been blessed! Ten years ago, I would have thought myself truly mad to make such a statement. Yet, it's as if I've glimpsed into a mirror and there, beyond my own reflection, I see the souls of those who's lives have since become a are part of my own. A new and beautiful tapestry has emerged from strands once broken and has been woven into an exquisite cloak surrounding me!

My life is different. Profoundly so. Both figuratively and literally! And yet, if someone would have told me how much my life was yet to change, I would have thought them truly mad! Most, if not all, of those changes have been indeed positive. In many ways, I am living the life I dreamed of as a child, despite being taught that "real" Witches didn't exist. I have discovered hidden interests and gifts that in this fifth decade of life, have only recently decided to emerge. I have seen relationships end that I believed had stood the test of time, while those with the most tumultuous beginnings have taken root to become strong and loving branches in our Tree of Life. I find myself pulling my new tapestry in more closely now, as I bid farewell to those people and things that no longer serve our greater good. I have realized that there is Divine guidance at work in my life, in the knowledge, patience and inspiration of my teachers, in my practice and yes, even in those, "suck beyond all definition of the word" moments that were the most difficult colors to weave into the new fabric of my existence.

The Autumn Equinox is upon us. And again, I find myself dancing on the threshold of change, in both the growing darkness and light yet to come. I look forward with a mixture of breathless anticipation and sweaty palmed trepidation. I am already beginning to see the signs of wear beginning in the old tapestry. Some will require and be worth repairing, while other will unravel completely with new colors taking their place. I must accept that my new "Cloak of Life" may not look exactly like the old, but will still have been woven with the finest of threads!

In Darkness, Light!



Carol said...

Like I said many times your good!!!

You hit upon what I have been thinking about lately the "changes" that we go through.
Sometimes I feel like I really can't handle too many more and I want to leave this plane and then I pray to the Goddess for strength to hold it together. I am the kind of person that worries before anything happens.

I know that there are certain things that I can't change and that are bound to happen. But this kind of uneasy feeling happens just about every day!

I know that you had your share for sure and I often think of you and what you went through. I admire your strength and keep telling myself that your going on about your life keeping it all together and thats the way I want to be.

I have been meditating a lot more and it has helped.


Tracy ~ The UnOfficial Witch of Ridgewood said...

I love you, Carol.

I am a natural born worrier. Worrying is what I do best! I think that, in a life that's so unpredictable, it comes with the territory. While I must confess that thankfully, it usually turns out to be nothing more than a monumental waste of energy, when I do need to be concerned about something, at least I'm prepared!

Carol said...

yes, I agree most of the time it is just a waste of energy! I will try hard to keep that in mind.