Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Dance

Merry Meet Family and Friends!

I had a love/hate relationship with my sister. I say that because that, in fact, was what it was. There is no better way to explain it. She was intensely jealous and vindictive. Yet, despite an undeniable sibling rivalry, she was also extremely protective of me.

I always wished we could have the kind of fairytale relationship that exists between some sisters and their younger siblings, but it simply wasn't meant to be. Our relationship was complicated, often violent and at times, god-awful to the point that I hated her more than I could any enemy. Yet, when she died 9 years ago, she took a piece of my heart with her. Given the nature of our relationship, it seems only fitting.

Today is Thanksgiving and I've been thinking a lot about my sister.

She and I always spent the holidays together and when we did, we danced. It didn't matter what holiday we were celebrating, we danced! I've missed that so very much! The dancing. And the laughter. And the times when we put every other inconsequential emotion behind us.

I've felt, for a very long time, that these were mere moments, lost in time and then today, when my heart really needed those missing pieces...unexpectedly, I danced. I danced with wild, reckless abandon, out on the deck, in the rain. Not with my sister...but with my own daughter. We laughed and danced and it took my breath away.

My heart, will be forever thankful!

In Darkness, Light!


Tracy

10 comments:

Cynthia W. said...

Very touching! I enjoy reading your posts and came to know about you via Witch Vox. I am also a former Christian and am new to the Pagan path. Thank you and Blessed Be! :)

Tracy ~ The UnOfficial Witch of Ridgewood said...

Merry Meet, Cynthia!

Thank you for your lovely words!

I'm so happy that you're enjoying my rantings and blessings to you on your journey!

White Wolf said...

What is remembered lives.
Blessings
Arie

Tracy ~ The UnOfficial Witch of Ridgewood said...

Beautiful Arie! Just beautiful!

SHI said...

Merry Meet! I've never commented on here before but I needed to this time. Whenever I'm feeling lost or life seems well a bit overwhelming (which is right now) I somehow always find my way to your blog and what you've written is exactly what I needed to read! I just wanted to say thank you for your beautiful posts, for your blog and for always being so open and honest. Blessed Be )O(

Tracy ~ The UnOfficial Witch of Ridgewood said...

Merry Meet Shi!

I am so pleased if something I've written has helped eased a heavy heart.

May whatever is troubling you soon be a distant memory and replaced by all things exquisitely joyful!

So Mote It Be!

spottedwolf said...

we are amazing creatures Tracy...able to hate passionately and then forgive in a nano-second.

Forgiveness is the strongest 'tool' we possess for it frees our ability to be perspective and can easily help us learn to adapt. Women seem to innately understand the need for forgiveness to a far deeper degree than men. It is a powerful tool which enhances our survival.


In a related way enters the question of what one must do once they've forgiven someone.....the answer.....nothing. Forgiveness never requires forgetting....for that person forgiven may not have initiated the act nor even be aware and thus there is no expectation. The difference between an 'expecting' with a loved one and an 'expectation' is the requirement by the latter. Real 'forgiveness' requires no 'expectation'.

Your choice to be candid always reminds me of why I think fondly of you and yours.

Tracy ~ The UnOfficial Witch of Ridgewood said...

Thank you, Dennis!

And you know, whenever I find forgiveness difficult..a little Hoodoo works well too :)

IvyandtheGreenEyedCat said...

That is so beautiful <3

Tracy ~ The UnOfficial Witch of Ridgewood said...

Thank you, Ivy!