Merry Meet Family and Friends!
"The grass is alway greener on the other side".
My Mom used to say this often when we were growing up. It's the adage often used during our moments of self-doubt. Whether we are questioning our accomplishments, the choices we've made or the relationships in our lives, what we are doing, in actuality, is holding them up for comparison to see how they well measure up to that of others. At times, this self doubt may be the catalyst for change that motivates us to strive for better. At others, it's the fire of envy that consumes us to the point that we recklessly pursue something that exists only in our imaginations. Unfortunately, we often don't recognize this until we're looking back on what we've left behind.
We've all experienced periods of uncertainty. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. I know I have, probably more times than I can count. But during those times, I've tried to practice the art of mindful stillness, rather than rushing head long into the fire of self-doubt.
The last several months have posed quite a challenge for me. I recognize this as being part of my initiation process. Challenging? Yes. Unexpected? Well, perhaps enlightening might be a better word.
That greener grass I've gazed longing upon? Well, for as much as it might have appeared to be so, upon closer inspection, it was actually astro turf! Still, there really is no way to fully appreciate those things we have, without actually comparing them to what we perceive might be better.
Better? Perhaps. Or is it merely....astro turf?
We all wear different masks. We change them in order to suit our situation. Some might consider this "shapeshifting". At what point does the "shape" become a dramatic break in character and the "shift", a sacrifice of one's integrity in order to get ahead. Make no mistake, the truly wise will see through the blatantly disingenuous.
Weeping for some one's plight without empathy for their pain does not translate into compassion. Even the most mediocre actor can master tears. True greatness of spirit comes from sharing and acknowledging one's pain and offering comfort from your own heart. To offer any less is bound to ring hollow, even to ears that are desperately seeking solace.
Working "in the light" as a matter of convenience does not make one a "lightworker". Healing is a gift when shared freely with those in need, not merely those that are deemed worthy. A true "lightworker" has the ability to put aside their ego in order to elevate others to their higher potential. They recognize the purpose and meaning in all things. One cannot elevate the spirits of those that they are walking upon.
Personal prejudice has no place in sacred space. If your group dynamics seems to be more of revolving door rather than a Circle, perhaps it's time to reconsider your place there. While there is always a certain amount of culling involved, if the exodus involves a specific type of person or gender, it may reflect an underlying hostility being carried over from the mundane.
Trust and respect are cultivated through patience, love and with the passage of time. They allow us to be strong when things are at their worst and yet, humble in our in our strength. Trust, honor and respect are not granted based on who we are or what we believe we deserve, but what we've done to deserve them.
"Forgive and forget". Ah yes, another of my Mother's "pearls of wisdom". The two have never been meant to be used interchangably. To attempt to forget is to negate those memories that our psyches deem too painful to revisit and yet, there are is lessons held within those painful memories that may protect us from repeating our mistakes. Forgiveness is the act of moving past one's pain to allow for healing, not denying what that pain has taught us.
And the moral of the story..
If it doesn't grow....it isn't grass!
In Darkness, Light!